this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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