OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
