I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
How drunk are you?
Completed.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
