Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
