It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
