I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Boobs are out for the taking
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
