I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
