i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
