Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
