My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
