There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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