just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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