I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
