she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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