Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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