my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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