Plan B is the new Plan A
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
