Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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