Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
