I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
