if i can run in heels then i can drive
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
