If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
