I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
