he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
