Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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