so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
