I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He has the fingertips of a God
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