forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
