So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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