Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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