final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
