Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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