I think I just saw someone hide a body.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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