it wasn't lemon gatorade
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
