I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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