All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
