It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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