This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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