): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
