i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
