i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Randomize