How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
