Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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