Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I should be sponsored by Trojan
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
