Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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