I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
