Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
