If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
