My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
is wine microwaveable?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
