I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
