He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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